Well, I'm back. Its been a long time. But I think we can put our differences aside us... for science.
Today I'm going to be discussing River Monsters Season 5, and whether or not I would recommend watching it. Naturally, River Monsters is my favorite show of all time, so I guess I would recommend watching every episode, but I guess in this review, I will discuss how it stacks up to the other seasons. I will judge it based on the faithful template by Admiral Warsilver, Location, Monster Variety, Monster originality, Mystery, Culture, and of course, Monster size. With that out of the way, let us begin.
Note, there WILL be spoilers ahead in case you haven't watched it yet
Ratings will be in stars out of five
Location- A lot of river Monster Season 5 takes place in Northern South America. Episode 1, a two-hour premiere, takes place in Bolivia, Episode 4 takes place in Columbia. On top of that, Episode 3 took place in Nicaragua, and although Nicaragua is technically in North America, the scenery was very similar to the jungles of South America. However, episode 2 took place in the Ukraine, Episode 5 in the United States, and Episode 6 in several different places including Scottland, Iceland, and Norway. This adds quite a bit of variety, however for "Location", what I really care about is excitingness... that is not even a word. The bigger part of Episode 2 is set in Chernobyl, which is debatably the most intriguing place featured in River Monsters. This was truly a heart-pounding episode, and I think this combined with the variety of the other episodes makes this season earn 5 stars in Location.
My Rating - *****Perfect Score!!!!!!!!!!!
Monster Variety- What about Monster Variety? The first episode featured piranhas and arapaima, while the other episodes feature plenty of other exciting creatures such as stingrays, and even primeval bloodsuckers. Sharks are featured in this season, but not the usual kind of shark. All in all, I think this season's monster variety was fairly sound.
My Rating- ****
Monster origionality- Monster Variety does not totally equate to monster originality. Piranhas have been featured many times in River Monsters, counting the times where they did not serve as the culprit. Arapaima have probably been seen as the culprit more times than any other fish (poor arapaima), and while the Discus Ray featured in "Columbian Slasher" belonged to a completely different species than the rays featured in Seasons 2 and 3, it isn't that different from an entertainment perspective. However, lampreys and Greenland sharks have definitely not been seen in River Monsters, and they were a very interesting addition.
My Rating- ***
Mystery- The mystery in this season was fair, not bad, not excellent. Sure, the quest to solve the legend of Loch Ness was awesome, and the face ripping was quite creepy, but a lot of the episodes came over as a little...as Admiral Warsilver said...weak. I really enjoyed all of the episodes and their unique monsters, however, sometimes some parts of the investigations felt kind of dry. I can't really explain it, but for some reason Seasons 5 and 7 felt the most dry to me. I will explain this more under the "Monster Size" section, and in the Season 7 review.
My Rating- ***
Culture- Culture does not play a major role in this season. We see a witch doctor creating a charm in episode 1, and Native American tradition in episode 5, but honestly the biggest take a way on the part of culture was of course the epic search for the moster of Loch Ness. Just like with the Season 1 review, one episode does not redeem the entire season, so therefore I give a 3/5 here.
My Rating- ***
Monster Size- And so we come to Monster Size. This is easily the part of the season that made the mystery feel the most dry. The episode of course needs an epic investigation (nailed by season 5) but for me, it has to lead up to a monster fish. Somehow Season 5 (and Season 7 again) didn't always achieve this. Of course, they achieved this in a few episodes (the tarpon episode and the halibut episode to be exact) but they did not maintain it throughout the whole season. This exists to the extent that I call these two seasons the "small fish" seasons. The first episode features piranhas which are, in relation to humans, small fish. It also shows arapaima, however, this may be their most underwhelming appearance in River Monsters, as they are all very small. Then we see a radioactive Wels Catfish that is remarkably undersized. We later see a large stingray that in no way compares to the giants of seasons 2 and 3, a lamprey which is, again, small, and a greenland shark that would hardly compare to its relative the frog shark. Naturally, sometimes the small killers are more scary. For example, the Tiny Wels added more terror to the episode, and the bloodsucking lampreys were also quite creepy. But part of River Monsters was always the giant goonch and the hulking mouth of the Piraiba . Small fish are okay, but when a season is dominated by them, it takes a very small thing away from river monsters.
My Rating- **
Over All Rating 3/5+
After everything I just said, you may think I disliked Season 5. On the contrary, I loved Season 5. The Legend of Loch Ness is one of the most epic River Monsters episodes ever made, and in fact, it was the episode on the Animal Planet poll that I voted for being the best in the entire series. If the episode poll had included every River Monsters episode, I probably would have voted for something else, but still the poll did have "Killer Catfish", "Amazon Apocalypse", "Lair of Giants", and plenty of other standout episodes, so I hold every episode of Season 5 in very great regard. However, as a season as a whole, it will remain the "small fish" season.